[He's leaning against a rock, letting Purrelden climb up him and back down and up again. Anders' gaze is mostly on the crystal in his hand and the fire in front of him.]
Perhaps... themes, of a sort? That's a good question, though. What sort of non-combat lessons get taught? If there's... Mm. If we do a survival day, we can go through ways of starting a fire and containing it magically and non-magically, and so on?
[For once he doesn't even think about being close with her. Physical contact is a craving and possibly a need, so he doesn't freeze for even the briefest moment. His voice is also a little more quiet and introspective than normal.]
I was hoping as much.
[Purrelden seems entirely fine, bowing her head forward so Merrill can scratch as is a cat's due. In return Anders reaches down to rub the dog's head briefly.]
And I want to stay mostly away from combat, but we could run some self-defense along the side outside, in case. It could be very useful.
The Inquisition certainly seems to run into enough bears that it's needed. And it'd be good for farmers, too, so they can keep wolves away from their herds!
[ C: GOOD let her just kind of lean on you a bit friend ]
[He leans back, feeling a small spike of guilt. He's asking things of her, taking comfort from her, and he's never said anything about what he's said to her before. He doesn't even know how much of it is right or wrong anymore.]
It would be. It... It could be good for everyone, and there's precious little that does that here. There's precious little that just helps instead of hurting along with the help. I...
[Anders trails off, exhaling. It would be so nice to just help. To do something that doesn't cost people anything other than time and attention, that harms no one. That's not what his life has been about.]
I want this. I want there to be models or things in place that can be referenced when Corypheus falls, because I know they're going to target the mages again right after. If there's a school, if it's working, Merrill, if it's working, they can't argue with that.
It shouldn't just be at Skyhold, either. There are other places the Inquisition controls, or where it's welcomed. Maybe- maybe the ambassador could have classes set up there, also? Once we've proven it works and is safe here. That way it'll reach more people.
[ There's a little hum. ]
I could ask, if you're afraid they'll say no to you.
[He can distantly appreciate the irony of it, sending probably the only blood mage in Skyhold to talk to authorities to set up measures for future mages.]
Obviously don't tell them the thing that Varric publicly wrote about and they're all humming loudly while ignoring.
[There isn't bite to his words, just wryness. People make exceptions for other people when they know them, while still lumping others in together, and there's something about the mages as a whole wrapped into the thought he's not taking the time to unpack right now.]
I don't think I want them to know the full scope yet. That this is something I want to see take off, to stand instead of the Circles if it can be fine-tuned. Speak of it as an opportunity instead? For the people in Skyhold, the Inquisition, the refugees, as well as the mages. If it profits more non-mages than it does mages, they're more likely to be on board with it. And if... If they seem to be amenable, ask about funding for supplies? But only if it doesn't seem like too much. I think. It's a little difficult to know what should be worried about and what's extraneous.
You know, the Chantry did an investigation? One of the women in the alienage told me. She also told me she laughed so hard she almost cried at the idea since I don't have a dungeon and get lost all the time.
[ it's not her fault the Chantry thinks all blood mages = evil and therefore couldn't find any evidence ]
I can do that! I mean, it is an opportunity. I think they'll probably think I'm generally just excitable if I ask for a bit too much.
[They'd investigated. They'd looked into it and decided she was too Merrill to be a blood mage.]
Why couldn't they have been that inept every time I ran away? Oh, he's just a boy, he can't be the mage we're looking for.
[He sighs, shaking his head. There's no fairness to be found in the world, but there never has been. And it's not like he wants them to find out what Merrill is.]
It wouldn't be the first time you've gotten excited and talked someone's ear off. They'd likely find nothing unusual about it.
[She's the perfect infiltrator. No one would suspect anything.]
Or that's something you can do when someone has your back through much of your life, rather than no one having it.
[He grimaces a moment later and sighs. He doesn't want an argument, and that came out sounding sharper than he wanted. Anders tries again, this time without the anger in his voice.]
Some people didn't have the options others did. So different paths from the start, yes. But we may be headed for similar destinations.
[ She only ever spoke up about the eluvian, and look at how that turned out. Merrill just raises an eyebrow at him, but he drops it, and she shakes her head a moment later. ]
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Perhaps... themes, of a sort? That's a good question, though. What sort of non-combat lessons get taught? If there's... Mm. If we do a survival day, we can go through ways of starting a fire and containing it magically and non-magically, and so on?
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[ And here's Merrill, sliding right up against his side and reaching over to pet Purrelden. Barkley is at her heels, sniffing at Anders' feet. ]
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I was hoping as much.
[Purrelden seems entirely fine, bowing her head forward so Merrill can scratch as is a cat's due. In return Anders reaches down to rub the dog's head briefly.]
And I want to stay mostly away from combat, but we could run some self-defense along the side outside, in case. It could be very useful.
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I think- maybe we should focus on self-defense against wild animals, to start with. Let them think of that instead of fighting another person.
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[For the first time this evening, he sounds like his spirits have lifted just a little.]
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[ C: GOOD let her just kind of lean on you a bit friend ]
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It would be. It... It could be good for everyone, and there's precious little that does that here. There's precious little that just helps instead of hurting along with the help. I...
[Anders trails off, exhaling. It would be so nice to just help. To do something that doesn't cost people anything other than time and attention, that harms no one. That's not what his life has been about.]
I want this. I want there to be models or things in place that can be referenced when Corypheus falls, because I know they're going to target the mages again right after. If there's a school, if it's working, Merrill, if it's working, they can't argue with that.
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[ There's a little hum. ]
I could ask, if you're afraid they'll say no to you.
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[He can distantly appreciate the irony of it, sending probably the only blood mage in Skyhold to talk to authorities to set up measures for future mages.]
But if you didn't mind, I'd, I'd appreciate it.
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And things to maybe definitely not say.
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[There isn't bite to his words, just wryness. People make exceptions for other people when they know them, while still lumping others in together, and there's something about the mages as a whole wrapped into the thought he's not taking the time to unpack right now.]
I don't think I want them to know the full scope yet. That this is something I want to see take off, to stand instead of the Circles if it can be fine-tuned. Speak of it as an opportunity instead? For the people in Skyhold, the Inquisition, the refugees, as well as the mages. If it profits more non-mages than it does mages, they're more likely to be on board with it. And if... If they seem to be amenable, ask about funding for supplies? But only if it doesn't seem like too much. I think. It's a little difficult to know what should be worried about and what's extraneous.
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[ it's not her fault the Chantry thinks all blood mages = evil and therefore couldn't find any evidence ]
I can do that! I mean, it is an opportunity. I think they'll probably think I'm generally just excitable if I ask for a bit too much.
[ because she is ]
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[They'd investigated. They'd looked into it and decided she was too Merrill to be a blood mage.]
Why couldn't they have been that inept every time I ran away? Oh, he's just a boy, he can't be the mage we're looking for.
[He sighs, shaking his head. There's no fairness to be found in the world, but there never has been. And it's not like he wants them to find out what Merrill is.]
It wouldn't be the first time you've gotten excited and talked someone's ear off. They'd likely find nothing unusual about it.
[She's the perfect infiltrator. No one would suspect anything.]
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[ So that's. Something? ??? ]
And that might actually happen anyway, so it wouldn't even be a lie!
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I wish I could hide in plain sight half as easily as you do. I don't know how you manage it.
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[He leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, playing with one of Purrelden's ears until she rolls over and starts batting at his hand.]
And now if I'm quiet it seems a sort of surrender. I can't go back. Forward is the only direction available.
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[ but maybe that's just her ]
We have different paths. Similar destinations though, I think.
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[He grimaces a moment later and sighs. He doesn't want an argument, and that came out sounding sharper than he wanted. Anders tries again, this time without the anger in his voice.]
Some people didn't have the options others did. So different paths from the start, yes. But we may be headed for similar destinations.
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And now, here we all are.
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[A beat, and then he nods to himself, gathering Purrelden up.]
Let me know what they say, when you talk with them?
[He's had a rough mission, he's a little tired, and while the company was nice, he's still working out what he thinks and feels about Merrill.]